A quick break for some storytelling.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
~ Confucius
True story: I love food.
I love creating food, serving food, eating food, and in general sharing the great wealth of variety & goodness we have at our fingertips.
But I love other things too.
For instance, I love shoes. And clothes. And jackets and handbags and designer lipstick.
For those of you who know (just a little) about IPOM, you may have read (at some point) my story here on my About page. The real reason I am here today, writing this blog, having started a charity from no more than a passing idea, is because just over 2 years ago I overcame a pretty big issue: a compulsive and destructive addiction to shopping.
And no, I don’t mean to cocoa nibs and kale 🙂
You see, after reaching a certain level of accomplishment in my life (kids, marriage, work, home, renovated kitchen, two cars), I was at a point where I didn’t know what mountain was left still to climb.
I had it good, and it was time to show it, no? After all, isn’t that what you do after spending your life attaining all the things in life we are supposed to want?
I haven’t led a typical life, that’s for sure.
My story is long and varied for a woman of 35 and has many stories (not all of them good). I didn’t set out to have these things, but I consider myself beyond blessed to have been given them. I don’t plan to share too much here on this blog, but I do promise that one day I will, somewhere soon. When the time and place are right.
But back to that status thing. I had two healthy kids in school, a good job, and a kitchen worthy of magazine covers (I stole my ideas all from those covers and it turned out pretty good).
So I set about decorating my physical frame with beautiful things. In some cases (well, most cases), I did it with money I didn’t yet have, and with an openness that didn’t exist.
There was a period there where you could have asked me ‘What’s in the wings?’ – and I would have had at least one (or two or three) expensive items either on layaway in store or hiding in a closet deep in my basement somewhere, hidden from my husband, but secretly known to me, the shopkeepers, and that Visa no one else in my house knew about.
Acquiring nice things became a game between me and my scheming mind, and once I acquired one and successfully integrated it into the mix (‘What, this old thing?’), I soon would lose the rush and set my sights on what I could focus all of my powers on to get next.
Addiction. It’s not pretty.
Knowing myself as the addictive person that I am meant I knew I had a problem.
But like most of us, when we know we want to change something, is it easy to change?
So that brings us here. To be truthful, I am here because I needed to get better (it has worked). I needed to re-focus, and look outside of myself, and not to what is hanging on my flesh, but to who and what is going on around me. So I’ve dedicated this time in my life to nurturing the part of me that wants to connect with others, those in need, and those also in need of connection.
I needed to change my ways for my girls, and for my marriage, and I needed to connect with what it was I was really after.
A purpose far greater than just myself.
It’s still a long way away, but I am on the path, and just by being here, you are with me too, and that (IMO) is pretty darned awesome (it’s not just awesome, it’s better than awesome).
I love food, and I’ll continue to share all that brings me joy in this life, in hopes that I might continue to bring some small nugget of value to you as readers of this blog.
But I’d be lying if I told you just food was enough. There’s just so much more to celebrate and talk about.
All in moderation of course 🙂
Less really can be more, in all aspects of our lives, whether it is with food, television, swearing, shopping for pretty rags & (really) over consumption of all kinds.
I know many of you blog (or read blogs) for reasons of health, happiness, inspiration, and making conscious choices that can make the world a better place for all of us.
So whether that choice is veganism, food activism, human rights, or otherwise, I’d love to know how you came to that choice. And I’d also love to hear, and perhaps even share, your story.
If there was one thing you could see going without for a better and more fulfilling life, what would it be? Do you have any destructive habits you’d like to kick for good? Have you already started this journey and want to share it?
You don’t have to share it here if you aren’t comfortable, and honestly, if you’ve made it this far into this post, I’m just happy you are still here..but I’d love to hear from you, and perhaps even share your story here.
If you like, feel free to drop me a line at shira@wearenotsofast.org. I’d like to mix things up a bit here and get real. Want to share your story of healing? I’m all ears.
I’ll get back to cocoa nibs and kale in my next post, I promise, just as soon as I pull on this old jacket and these shoes from last season 🙂
I’m no saint here, but I’m trying. Trying to do better, to be better, and to help others do the same. Thanks for being here with me, and for doing what you all do to make this world a better place.
Yours in Less,
in pursuit of more 
Oh my goodness! What a marvelous post. This year has been my eye opening year repeating to myself, “It’s GOOD to know what you are not so GOOD at. Your weakness, your failings, your soft spots. If you can’t be aware of them or worse, you are aware but won’t admit they are a problem, then you can’t grow. And that isn’t hurting anyone more than yourself. We GROW, we become BETTER when we know what we need to improve about ourselves. It’s this self-acknowledgement, willingness and drive to change that makes us become better people. What a fun thing to grow and become better. Who really wants to look back and realize they could have made positive changes that would have enhanced their life if they only were willing to make changes? Our inclination is to defend our actions. But when we are open and honest with ourselves, that is when good things really start to happen. Bravo for you! You acknowledged. You showed a willingness to change. Voicing this makes you even more amazing. All these things are making you a remarkable person!
I totally agree Alise – there is no way to grow unless we can see what in our lives needs to change, you have said it so well here, and thank you for leaving such a wonderful comment! I know it’s a bit off the usual here but I important to me to remember why it is I am here doing this. I appreciate you reading 🙂 And thank you for a wonderful, thoughtful comment! 🙂
That took courage, Shira, to post this. Brava. Because of my very low income I have recently slipped into debt again (it’s happened before). My debt is small debt by most people’s standards. but it is big to me. I am digging myself out one song at a time in the local subway and alert for other options. I track my income and spending again, too.
Thanks Sharyn, I sometimes imagine the freedom to play music openly….it must be wonderful 🙂
When it comes to money matters, I am lucky to have a husband who takes care of things, but I’ll never forget the weight of that ‘secret’ Visa – it was never about the amount of debt (it was never big) – but it was the more the hiding. It was not good! Thanks for sharing with us – and keep the music coming! XOX
Loving your posts these days…so real 🙂
I sure wasn’t expecting a post like this, Shira – but wow. I feel it right in my heart and gut! Best of luck managing this addiction – I have flirted along the edges of it myself and it took getting into debt and dragging myself out to temper it. I still WANT more than I will ever need. Going through my brother’s belongings has made me feel – among many other things, of course – completely overwhelmed by STUFF. My inclination is to give it all away and then go home and do the same with my things. Most likely I will land somewhere in the middle of getting rid of everything and holding on to the things that are important. xoxo
Amazing Annie – thanks! I am always in and out of obsessive behaviors of some kind – it seems to be the curse of being a passionate soul – and managing it is key 🙂 I’ve found great balance and having a purpose that is healthy has been a great way to channel all of the excess energy I have! 🙂 I’m still careful and have to watch for signs (I imagine it not unlike people who struggle with disordered eating or even alcoholism). If it weren’t for that change I needed in my life….I wouldn’t be here, so it’s really all very good!
I hope you don’t struggle like I do, because it’s a toughie! Yoga taught me a lot about managing desire, and the notion behind ‘going without’ really stuck with me big time, and hence, brought about this whole project 🙂 Thanks for reading, and sharing, my friend! XO
Shira, you bold and beautiful creature. Can I tell just tell you that it was your post earlier this year about cleaning out your closets and going bare bones that inspired me to take a look at my own habits? I was overspending and buying stuff that I really didn’t need for the last couple of years. I did it to fill some sort of strange emptiness and not because I really needed those “things” I’ve worked really hard since to find my passions and put myself to good use and help others. Guess what? Shopping addiction (nearly) curbed. Honestly love you to pieces. Thanks for your bravery and warmth. xoxo
Somer – hearing this makes me so happy! So glad you took action – and that we share some of the same afflictions..honestly I think it is more common than we realize and that fight with our ‘desire’ nature is a constant struggle (that to this day can sometimes get the better of me – and everyone at some point!). It’s crazy to think that we can still feel emptiness once we have ‘achieved’..being blessed with good health, family, and everything we could ever need.
You make me proud, and what a wonderful friend you are in this 🙂
I’ve dedicated my life to this……and I feel so grateful to be sharing with you! Kisses! Hugs! And applause….to strength, and channeling our energies into what matters 🙂 Thank YOU for everything..XOX
SO well said Shira. Filling that emptiness with good deeds really changes my perspective. What on earth was I feeling empty for in the first place. I have everything I could ever possibly want!?! You are an angel, truly! Love and guts. xoxox 🙂
I am loving the honesty going around right now. As you see from my most recent post, it must be contagious!! I must say from reading your blog you sure have come a long way. Each and everyone of your posts has me inspired for something new. I blog about food, and exercise..it keeps me accountable and it keeps me happy. As for ditching something in my life..I would have to say my negativity. I think too much, and not always in a positive light. I beat myself up too much and I dwell. I want to be free of the negative, dwelling mindset! Today I will set out for a run, and plan to leave all negativity on the pavement.
Brittany! Amazing to hear…can I just say you are one of the most positive people I have come across in this blog world? It is almost impossible to imagine that you could be negative and your light shines brightly with each word you write and picture you post of your races and all that brings you joy. Thank you for sharing this with us and bravo for sharing in the candid way you did today…..I think there must be something in the air 🙂 And I like it so far….I can relate to about the over thinking, and I love that you can run it off, it always works for me too 🙂
Thank you for reading and for sharing…giant hugs your way!! XOX 🙂
Brave post, Shira, and it is good to know that other people are on a journey of some kind too. We had an attitude shift a couple of years ago when my husband went from a terrific salaried job to scrambling to find something after a layoff. We readjusted to a lower salary, which at first felt restrictive and like we were being deprived, I read austerity and frugality blogs, researched living on lower incomes, then slowly noticed that our attitudes were starting to shift (mine, mostly – my husband was always there, I think). In two years we have shifted to a more self sufficient thinking, less consumerism, but still have everything we need, money to spend, money saved and somehow we are living a healthier, greener lifestyle because of all of this. We had a little debt at the start of the process, but now have none, plus we’re building retirement savings, saving for the things that we want and can handle any new storms that might come our way. Hopefully none will, though. And I think we are more relaxed, knowing that we don’t have to “have” everything. I think we no longer even want everything.
Heidi – your story is wonderful! I must admit that your life calls to me in so many ways and I admire you greatly for the dedication to all the simple pleasures in life (which also happen to be the things that are most important). Of course I now know more of your story and really love that you shared this with us – thank you! Wonderful to see what happens when all of those ‘needs’ we have are taken off the table — turns out we really don’t need them at all. Blessings to you and your family for being resourceful, and all that you have to share with the rest of us as a result! You are a gift, honestly! 🙂
Such a marvelous post. I struggle with food – it is my medication of choice, and without it I am awash in many unwelcome emotions. Hence my journey. If I ditch something forever, it would be my penchant for using food to punish myself. In other words, to give up sugar entirely and forever because I can’t abuse myself with a squash or a carrot – not cooked ones, anyway. 🙂
Thank you, and thank you for sharing! It is true that many of us DO medicate with food..and I can honestly say I think there isn’t a soul out there who doesn’t rely on something to get them through tough times or feelings of not quite being satisfied. I am so happy to have you as a reader and wishing you the best on your journey too! XOX 🙂
In all truthfulness I started my blog without any grand intentions but it has done so much for me. It an outlet to express what is truly important to me and has reinvigorated my love for writing. It is a relaxing and helpful experience. On the subject of giving up a habit for a better life, I would really like to give up thriving on stress. I am high functioning under stress, but at times I need to sacrifice the micromanaging and success for some well deserved peace of mind and destress. It is a difficult thing to do, as you mentioned above. This post is quite wonderful in both acknowledging problems we try to fix and the great things we can do for each other as a support system.
Fabulous! Thank you for reading and a brilliant example of something we could all do with less of …. how many things do we waste precious energy on unnecessarily. A world without stress would be a marvelous place indeed 🙂 Even small changes help and it is so good to hear blogging has helped you too 🙂 Thank you for reading!
Dearest Shira! How could I be more grateful? Your blog is one I absolutely Treasure! I’ve never read a post of yours from which I didn’t come away elevated, enlightened, cheered, or set to some deeper contemplation. I know your love of food and well-being and your heart for sharing. It’s also been so clear though that you are a full, full pot of goodness and depth and breadth and have a heart too for truth-telling! I was so happy to see this post – not that your struggle makes me “happy” of course – but that you, brave beautiful girl, were willing to be vulnerable and share even more of what we’ve come to so appreciate, admire and love about you! Thank you so much Shira!
A destructive and time-abusing, time-consuming habit I’d like to kick for good: I know what drives it but I haven’t turned it around yet, into something powerfully good, which I know it CAN be… it begins with the perception of a “longing” or an “empty spot” some little “niggling” – non-descript, non-specific. And then I go looking outside myself… which most often entails buying something, believing that I’ll be “better” somehow for what I’ve just brought into my life. But of course I’m not, for the promise was an empty one. (Those “somethings” are only accessories to life, not Additions to a True one.)
I know someone who knew she wanted to start a family. She was working inside her chosen career, but knew when family came she wanted to be home with them. She was a very very stylish person – and quite the shopper. She vowed that for one solid year she would buy nothing. Nothing but food and gas for her car. She kept her promise to herself. She’s at home with her babies now. And I’ve often wondered if i’d have what it takes to make such a commitment, absent the financial imperative to do so. Maybe with me it will start with a shorter term goal, and I’ll build my muscles (just a little) bit by precious bit.
Thank you again, so much Shira, for your bravery and for opening of windows! many blessings! xx
Spree – your friends example is amazing and one I have often considered…when I started Not So Fast, I vowed a one day a week fast (for a year) to go without food. I contemplated many times whether I should challenge myself to a bigger challenge – not shopping (which I did stop for a very long time to get better). I support you in every way when it comes to building up slowly…it’s like anything – chewing off smaller pieces is very very motivating!
I felt the need to share this after my trip to France this year…where I faced a few of the demons that visited me during the height of the crisis I write about here, hence the sharing now….I’d love to share more but I will need to find the time and venue – some day!
Your support and sharing means so much….honestly, and if there is anything I can do please drop me a line….your friend is an inspiration an I bet she is one happy woman too 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this and for reading today!
wow, what a beautiful post. thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Shira. I truly admire your courage:)
Thank you Caralyn! I appreciate you taking the time to read it! 🙂 XO
Shira I so love your blog. reading it helps me remain mindfull and thankful for all I have. I’ve noticed when I have a “bad day” I want to reach for sugar(usually chocolate), starbucks, or shopping. Thank you for be brave enough to share your stuggles. I think we really let people see us when we show them some of our “hidden” parts.
Wow, thank you Holly!
Your words ring so true…reaching for that ‘thing’ to make us all better seems to be our first impulse when things might not be just right. It is so difficult to look inside vs. outside and something that is mostly very hard to do…so happy to inspire something more meaningful than just creating desire (I sometimes feel that as food bloggers we can perpetuate this too with so much talk about food) – hence why I decided to share this..your support is truly appreciated, more than you know!
It’s tough digging to those hidden places….and often where we find the most treasure 🙂 Thank you so much! XOX Giant hugs…
Wonderful post, Shira! It takes courage to overcome destructive habits and to share those struggles so openly and honestly. There was a time when I, too, had an awful spending habit, and coming to terms with it forced me to do a great deal of self-reflection, which was humbling, to say the least! Now, you might say, I have an aversion to having too much. Whenever I feel like I have accumulated too much “stuff,” I clean house, give it away, divest myself of it however I can. It’s cathartic in a way. Thanks again for sharing your story! Very nicely done!
Hi Laura..I love this! Very good to hear that you faced a similar challenge and worked your way through it…and thank you for your kind words and support! It’s been an important (and yes, totally humbling) experience indeed 🙂
What brave honesty you show in writing this. I had no idea the back story behind your blog. I enjoy your inspirational story telling, your amazing recipes, and beautiful photographs. I am glad you are putting it out there, becoming stronger and making the hard choice to heal. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks! I’ve been feeling the need to ‘come clean’ for a while, as it is important to me that my writing always be authentic – though I don’t dip into the personal often when I post, my hope is to free up some mental & emotional space to keep the inspiration (and the hard work and growth) coming. I know coming clean is hard…and if I can do it, it could help others at least find familiarity in my struggle 🙂 Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words 🙂 xox
You are so brave for sharing your story and learned/learning to overcome this addiction. It takes a very strong person to realize something within themself that may be a problem and change those behaviors. And I salute you for that.
My thing I want/need to overcome is my nicotine addiction. I actually hate, hate, hate it, yet it’s the first thing I want when something good or bad happens. But your blog has given me hope that I too can overcome that.
Beautiful post and thanks so much for sharing.
Thank YOU for sharing – I feel inspired just by you sharing that! It’s been a long time coming, and I am happy to share — even if it just puts a smile on someone’s face to know we are all human. We all have them – those ‘things’ that seem to control us in better and in worse…being mindful to what those are is always the first step, so bravo to you, and in turn I salute you too! 🙂
I truly believe we can win, but we must give it time and patience – and also be kind to ourselves in the process.
Thank you so much for reading 🙂 XO
Good for you, Shira, and for everyone else who commented who’s given up something destructive or just added something constructive. I can identify with the feeling of just having too much stuff. I tend to hang on to things, put them away “just in case” or for “some day when I need them.” And sometimes it legitimate and sometimes it’s just filling my house. (My husband sometimes goes to the opposite extreme.) 🙂 Now that I’m trying to get our house ready to put on the market (prayers for a quick sale at a decent price are very much appreciated), I’m having to deal with all the “stuff.” I’m trying as much as possible to either give things to people I know will use them, to donate them, recycle them or toss them. However, we have one daughter who just started college and she has LOTS of stuff, all of which we have to hang onto for the near future.
It sometimes gets a bit overwhelming so I try to do it bit by bit and I’m making tremendous progress. Along the way, I have to fight my addiction…reading. Yes, I’m a rampant bibliophile, which is one reason we have so many boxes in the attic–all the books we don’t have shelf space for. It’s very, very hard for me to go to a book sale or somewhere like Half Price Books and not walk out with a number of great and interesting books, which often then sit on my shelf while I use the library to the fullest extent allowed by law. 🙂 But I’m proud to say that I haven’t bought many books at all in the last few years. I buy a vegan cookbook now and then, but I’m doing quite well. Full-price bookstores were never much of a problem because while I love books, I’m generally unwilling to pay $30 for one.
That’s my confession and I’m sticking to it. Somer, haven’t seen you around. Hope all’s well. Shira, glad you had such a wonderful time in France. And as for blogging, I’ve always liked writing and photography and my family was urging me to blog, so now I have to be careful that doesn’t become a black hole for my time. And so, without further ado, I’m off…to read. But it’s OK; it’s the end of the day and allowable reading time.
This is just wonderful – thank you! You have covered so much ground here, I am not even sure where to start, and well done, truly!! 🙂
Your love of books is one I wouldn’t mind..and I envy you for your ability to intake all that info – that is a gift! I can relate to your predicament of dealing with stuff (and sending prayers your way in heaps!), I know we’ve got to love the men in our life for seeming to mostly escape from these ways of ‘hanging on’. Perhaps we could follow their lead more?
I love your thoughtful comments and really appreciate this one…you are a gem! I’d love to know what your favorite kind of books are…
😉 XO
Mysteries, although I get into non-fiction, too. Right now I’m flying through “Wallace”, by Jim Gorant, the story of a pit bull who became a champion at flying disc competitions. Amazing! It written by the same guy who wrote “The Lost Dogs”, about Michael Vick’s pit bulls. We’ve had several foster pit bull and they are the most loving dogs ever.
Amazing! My daughter is a giant bookworm too so I can totally relate. In fact, reading is one of those things I wish I made more time for. My attention span wanes for anything fiction based, which is such a shame! So much wonderful writing missed out on…
I loved your comment today about the black hole of blogging too…it’s all a giant balancing act!
Thanks for your wonderful comment today!
Always fun to chat with you, Shira. One of the nicest things about blogging is meeting so many interesting and enjoyable people. I may ask you some day how you get your blog to look so lovely. But not in the near future–after moving perhaps. 🙂
I’m all ears – and likewise! Best of luck with your move (what a big big job!) – and best wishes for a successful sale 🙂 XO
Shira, my heart is soaring — truly — with your intentional transparency today. Thank you for this gift. Yes, I feel like I’m definitely on this journey. My biggest challenge right now is to do without some of the noise and busy-ness of my world and to slow to appreciate these gifts right now. When I appreciate my gifts, I am less self-focused and more generous. And this is so what I desire to be, in every way. Thank you for this beautiful post of courage today. (I, for one, would love to read more about your journey!)
Thank you Ashley for your kind words of support – and it is good to hear from readers (like you!) – that I am not entirely alone…my heart is soaring now too! I appreciate you sharing with me and hear you completely – being mindful of our blessings is such an important step and really…slowing down seems so easy – why is it so hard for us to do? Thank you for sharing this with us – and honestly – one day I will be ready to tell more 🙂 You are making it seem too easy. Blessings to you for a wonderful, slow & easy weekend Ashley full of the things you love! XO
Oh Shira, we speak the same language. I’m embracing the simpler life sans credit cards. To throw some light onto the subject, we took 4 bags worth of clothes and shoes today to a trading store, only to come out with $45. In the end, things don’t leave much meaning (well, except for that particular scarf; or the shoes you got married in) but connecting with others through an honourable cause, does. Happy you shared so eloquently what many of us go through. We’re only human.xx
So true Marina, and you are right on all counts (I could not say it better myself). Thank you for this! I’ve thought several times in the past year when I have hauled bags of ‘stuff’ from place to place – as you say, there really isn’t much we have that has any meaning. To me, the most important thing is our words, and living by them the best we can. You have all my support for making this change, to that I say Bravo! 100%….life is simply too short 🙂 Thanks for this Marina, and yes, we do speak the same language – and it’s a good thing too 🙂 XO
This post really, really hit home for me. My mom has a shopping addiction, but unlike you, she denies it. She always shopped a lot, more than all of my friends’ moms, but when my father retired, they sold their two condos (back when it was a good time to be selling your home) to have retirement money. My mom spent all of it (and more) at estate/garage sales and the home shopping network. She’s also a hoarder, so their house is packed to the gills with all of these things she’s bought, most of them unopened. It’s so unfortunate. I am so moved by your choice to overcome your addiction and do a complete 180. I so wish my mom was able to do the same.
Being that I was raised my a person with a shopping addiction, I am the exact opposite. I actually get panicked when things begin to clutter or if I do go shopping (a rare occasion), I have moments of anxiety about buying too much. If I do have an addiction, however, it would be to exercise. I know that sounds like a good thing, but I get so addicted to cardio or running (or maybe the endorphins afterwards) that it wears on my joints and rather than making me lose weight, I actually gain weight due to eating more because I’m so hungry all of the time and then my body stores it for energy rather than metabolizing it normally. Back when I was a personal trainer, there was a point when my boss dared me not to exercise for two whole weeks (unheard of for me), and I actually lost weight (about ten pounds!) by not exercising. Now, I have to be very careful to limit the amount of time I do it, and every so often, I will do two week “detox” periods.
So there’s my extremely lengthy comment on addictions. 😉 As I said before, I am so moved by your choice to better your life and somehow, you’ve found a way to become even more inspirational to me. Have a great weekend, Shira! xoxo
Kristy,
This story is really amazing, and I can’t thank you enough for sharing your own story with us, and that of your mom. It amazes me how many of us have our crutches, or addictions – we might not be comfortable to call them ‘addictions’ but I’ve come to believe over the years that anything we do obsessively can easily become unhealthy, whether it is buying nice things, items for our homes, or even exercise (hard for many people to believe I am sure). I am grateful to you for sharing this with all of us, you have no idea!
I feel deeply for your family (I am sure that must be a very difficult situation for all involved) and am thankful my case was still relatively minor from an expense perspective (I never racked up much debt) – but for me it was the lying to myself and others that caught up big time, as well as the hole that never filled up…in fact it got bigger. It’s never fun to feel out of control and I think regardless how deep you go, it is all in the same family 🙂
You are amazing for sharing this with all of us, and your support is really wonderful – you too are a brave and beautiful soul! So happy to have you here with me 🙂 xox
Your character, integrity and inspirational qualities are to be admired my friend – your honesty is enlightening 😀
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
Thanks CCU – not easy, but important things often aren’t 😉 Thanks for reading! xo
What a great (and honest!) post! I know it’s hard to get stuff like that out in the open but it sounds like you’ve learned a lot from it. You’re an inspiration with your lessons learned!
Thanks for reading along Liz…it was important that I share that as it was the start of an awesome journey! Appreciate the love 🙂 XO!
Shira, you have such an incredible voice, your honesty is really inspiring. It must have been really hard to post that, but I know myself and many others really appreciate that. I’ve flirted with the same addiction, in fact I still am, something I am trying to work on though. I think a lot of it for me stems from a sense of missing something else in my life, something I haven’t quite put my finger on. I’ve actually recently started journalling since I really want to figure out what is driving some of my not-so-nice habits.
In terms of what I really need to let go- definitely spending habits but also my self-criticism. I can be really hard on myself for having failings but I think my time would be much better spent by simply recognizing and forgiving them. I think that’s how progress is made and healing is done. This post was very timely for me dear so thank you, from the bottom of my heart!
Thanks for sharing Gabby, and for reading along 🙂 It’s definitely a hard thing to do – to recognize the ugly and speak about it loudly – but seeing the strength and inspiration that came from acknowledging & turning that ‘seeking’ into something positive has been incredible. Ultimately I believe we all have that power in us…
I hear you entirely on the self criticism and so happy you can take something positive away from this post….that was the hope but you never know, so thank you for being so open – you know I heart you – have a wonderful week! XOX 🙂
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I admire not just the courage that it took to admit your addiction and share it with us, but also the strength it took to realize what you were doing and stop it before it destroyed all the wonderful things in your life you recognized you have. I live in Orange County, CA, where there is a HUGE amount of pressure to “keep up with the Joneses”, as they say. It makes me want to run the other way! (Especially all the plastic surgery…which is sadly an addiction with many women here.)
I’m glad to say that I don’t have any destructive addictions…at this time, but definitely started my blog as a way to explore my diet and fix some of the digestive problems I had. I’m glad to say it’s working!
Keep writing your wonderful blog, Shira. It’s always a pleasure to read. 🙂
Thanks Jennifer – both for reading AND for sharing this! I can imagine how all that ‘keeping up with Joneses’ could drive you mad and thankfully I never got too deep – just enough to know I wasn’t going to spend another day being controlled by my desires (when I finally had enough and it’s still a battle I fight every day in some way).
Thank you for your words and for your story, as well as your encouragement – having you along means a lot and I appreciate it very much! Have a fabulous week! 🙂 XO
My husband and I actually started a blog just recently born out of the same pain we both went through in divorce. It can be scary to open up about the mistakes that you’ve made, but we’ve already gotten some amazing feedback. Your blogs are always thoughtful, and I’m proud to read this one today.
So glad to hear about your journey and thanks for sharing this with us! I really appreciate your kind words and wish you well on your amazing journey 🙂 Many wishes for continued happiness!
Hubs and I just recently started a blog born out of the pain we both went through in divorce. I am 7 years sober, and he is an OIF and OEF veteran. It’s crazy the experiences that we’ve both gone through in different ways, and we’ve gotten some amazing feedback already. Thank you for posting this; you have a lot of courage!!
Not sure if this was an add – on but really appreciate your time! Thank you!
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